As an attorney, you’ve chosen one of the most stressful professions.

You have superiors and clients scrutinizing your every move. Opposing counsel is just waiting for you to misstep.

Worse than all of them is your harshest critic: you.

Most of us have no trouble comforting a friend in need. We readily offer  a kind word to a stranger who is having a bad day. But when we make a mistake or struggle with an issue, we’re vicious.

Think about that. We’re nicer to stranger than we are to ourselves.

Remember a time when a friend helped you work through a problem. She probably told you that you would figure it out because you’re a smart badass. Remember how unstoppable you felt after those encouraging words from someone you trust.

What if you had an infinite source of that feeling? Imagine how resilient you would be.

According to this article on the University of Utah’s website ,research shows that self-compassion breeds strength.

Self-compassion is one of the most powerful sources of coping and resilience available to us.

Bottom line: be kind to yourself, and you’ll be more powerful.

But of course, that’s easier said than done. We’re hardwired to be harsh on ourselves, particularly as women. Showing ourselves compassion will take some work.

Oftentimes, we feel isolated in our circumstances. We think that we’re the only ones who could possibly have messed up this badly, or that we’re the only ones not accomplishing our goals. Throughout your self-compassion work, remember that everything you’re experiences is a part of life that we’ll all encounter at some point.

First, learn to identify what is causing you to be harsh on yourself. Are you failing to accomplish a goal? Are you reeling from making a mistake (or a perceived mistake)? Pinpoint your pain point.

Then, get comfortable. Grab some tea and a cozy blanket, and take some time to relax and think of what you would say to a friend who is struggling with the exact same issue. Put it in writing.

Finally, turn those kind words on yourself. Logically, there’s no difference between what  you would say to a friend and what you should say to yourself.

This Valentine’s Day, put yourself at the top of the list of people you need to recognize. Buy yourself something nice. Go to your favorite spot to rejuvenate. Show yourself the same love you show to your significant other and friends.

As you learn to show yourself compassion, watch how much more easily you are able to tackle issues. Watch your power grow.