Here comes another Valentine’s Day.

If you just rolled your eyes, I’m with you.

However, perhaps this Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a total waste of money and expectations; perhaps it can serve a higher purpose. Perhaps this year, you can focus on showing yourself the love and understanding you deserve.

Undoubtedly, your first year of law school has been difficult, in one way or another. But as you begin to see the light at the end of 1L year, I hope you can take some time to reflect on all you have accomplished and to show yourself some kindness.

According to this New York Times article, while most of us have no trouble showing kindness to a friend in need who is struggling, we are most often incapable of turning our compassion inward. I would bet that you’ve comforted a fellow 1L at some point this past year, but I would also bet that you have not comforted yourself.

You are your own worst critic. But you’ll be far more powerful if you become your own best friend.

Sounds great, right? But this is far easier said than done. We, particularly as women, are programmed to be harsh on ourselves. We constantly push ourselves to do better, to look better, to do more, and when we don’t accomplish something, we punish ourselves in the cruelest ways.

So how do we re-program our brains? First, identify just one thing that invokes your own wrath. Maybe you’re beating yourself up about how you did on a final exam, or you’re berating yourself for falling short on a goal you’re struggling to achieve.

Next, imagine that your friend is struggling with the exact same problem. Think of what you would say to her. Write it down.

Finally,  repeat what you wrote to yourself. If your brain starts to argue, remind it that there is no logical difference between the friend you would comfort and yourself. You deserve the same compassion as your friend.

This Valentine’s Day, take yourself on a date (even if you have plans with your significant other). Treat yourself to something you love.  Buy yourself your favorite chocolate. Try to woo yourself.

After all, your most important relationship is with yourself. And nothing is more powerful than a woman who loves and honors herself.