It’s always the little things.

For mediation last week, I wanted to feel powerful. I knew our legal arguments and our client’s settlement position. I needed the right outfit so I could focus on fighting back the Imposter. I chose a white sheath dress with a peplum waist, a brown leather belt to accent my figure, and white shoes. I knew wearing a white dress would help me stand out in a good way amid what I predicted would be a group of dark suits.

I have recently become acquainted with Spanx, and I was under the assumption they would make any outfit better, so I squeezed into them thinking they would smooth out the lines on my white dress.

I also had another little thing to address: my sweat problem.

Based on my Google-based self-diagnosis, I have hyperhidrosis. I have been an overly sweaty person since middle school. I wore sweatshirts and jackets to cover my pit stains. I applied deodorant every chance I had.

As an adult, I can easily sweat through even the thickest blazer.

My sweat is the diabolical kind. Stress sweat is the smelliest of all sweats, and when combined with polyester, cotton or wool, it smells even worse and has impressive staying power.

I went through the list of all the remedies I’ve tried. There are the sweat pads that adhere to the insides of your sleeves. But I knew from experience that they would end up drenched and wadded up like a pantyliner after an intense run. I looked for other options.

I’ve also tried multiple antiperspirants, but I couldn’t remember which ones helped a little and which ones totally failed. After some online research, I decided to give a prescription-strength product a try. I was hopeful that it would help.

On the morning of mediation, I was ready. My armpits were itchy, but I was confident.

The first time I checked in the mirror that morning, I was sweating everywhere but my pits. But getting in and out of my Spanx to pee was not helping that situation. And much to my horror, I saw that instead of smoothing out my dress, my Spanx shorts showed through on my thighs and rear. And I quickly overheated with that added layer.

Also, my dress was brand new, so I didn’t notice the hem was ripped on one side. The belt that I added to accentuate my figure turned out to be too big, so I had to keep adjusting it.

By midday, I started to detect some stinky stress sweat, even though my pits were still mostly dry and I had no wet circles around my armpits. After that, I was just a stinky Imposter, sweating in my Spanx, pulling up my belt, and worrying every time I stood up that everyone could see strange lines on my thighs and butt.

The photos below show my outfit on the day of mediation (with Spanx), and my outfit how I should have planned it, without Spanx and with a belt that fits my waist.

 

On the outside, I probably looked the part of the prepared attorney. In fact you probably can’t tell the difference between the photos above (Spanx on the left, no Spanx on the right).

I sat next to our mediator (one of the two badass women I discussed in a recent post). We were in one of the largest law firms in Denver, and my name tag wouldn’t stick to my dress. I joked with her that this fancy firm was rejecting me. She very kindly said, “No, you look like you belong here.”

But on the inside, I was a sweaty Imposter, constantly tugging at my clothes. The little things made the difference between how I appeared on the outside and how I felt, the latter of which is more important.

Most of my routines come from lessons learned. From my mediation experience, I learned that I need to try wearing an outfit for at least a few hours before I rely on it for an important appearance. If I had done that, I would have noticed the torn hem on my dress, the loose fit of the belt, and the lines and heat that my Spanx created.

Also, I learned that if I had read the instructions on my prescription-strength antiperspirant, I would have known that the product takes about a week of daily use to work as promised, and it is most effective when used in combination with a separate, daily deodorant. For the first time I have hope that I won’t have to be that sweaty Imposter again, but I also know the process takes some planning.

There’s no substitute for preparation, even when it comes to the little things.