Style sends both inward and outward messages.
To the world, the message is what we want to convey, whether we do so intentionally or not.
Inwardly, the message we send to ourselves is how we should feel about the particular situation we’re in. Should I feel confident about being here? Should I feel unsure of myself? Can everyone tell my skirt is too tight?
That inward message, I would say, is the most critical one to understand.
The psychology behind the messages we send and receive from our style (finally) is a topic of academic study now. A 2018 New York Times article features Dawnn Karen, a brand consultant, therapist and instructor at the Fashion Institute of Technology, who “pays close attention to the relationship between attire and attitude: not just how clothes make you look, but how they make you feel.”
“Fashion psychology, as she defines it, is the ‘study and treatment of how color, image, style and beauty affects human behavior, while addressing cultural norms and cultural sensitivities.’”
For example, she consults for a menswear company that wants to know its customers’ personality traits, how they would feel in certain styles.
And for Ms. Karen, style is armor. After a traumatic attack, she describes being hell-bent on looking absolutely fabulous as she faced the world the next day.
In episode 20 of May the Record Reflect, a podcast produced by the National Institute for Trial Advocacy (“NITA”), the topic is Trial Style and Courtroom Confidence. Guest Judith Gaton – or Miss J – is a trial lawyer and style coach. Her main point: how you look when you show up matters, particularly inwardly. She tells the story of a time when, during the middle of giving a brilliant oral argument, she felt her Spanx slip down, and at once her focus shifted from what she needed to say to whether everyone could see her belly now that her Spanx had abandoned her. She was distracted. She lost her edge.
As important as the message is that we’re sending to ourselves with our style, many of us are totally unconscious of why we wear what we wear. In the New York Times article, Ms. Karen told the story of a client who, years after her husband’s death, kept purchasing black clothing but hadn’t made the connection that she was still grieving. Ms. Karen helped her work through her process through style.
Like so many of our psychological traits, we often don’t know what they are or where they come from. But that doesn’t mean we can’t figure them out. That doesn’t mean that we can’t use them to our advantage.
If you find yourself reaching for red when you know you want to dress to impress, there’s something to that. If you tend to pick out A-line dresses, that could be the secret to your power.
I believe we can take control. We can use that fact to our advantage, to send a powerful message through style.